Necrotongue

How do I approach this? A strange movie full of loud nature sounds (how I hate insects...), Welsh language, and a good atmosphere. It's obvious from the start that shit is going to hit the fan at some point in the story, but waiting for something to happen is painfully long. To say that the film had a slow pace is about as much of a euphemism as saying that Ed Kemper didn't exactly love his mother. Seriously, there were moments when I thought the DVD froze. It dragged but the occasional twists and turns and the very end were a reward for my endless patience. 3*+

What a weird movie. There wasn’t a hint of originality, a trio of not-quite-Shakespearean actors were cast in the lead roles, and the script and the way it was handled were quite unimpressive. Forty minutes into the movie, I was already bored, checking my watch every few minutes to see if it was going to be over soon. Gal Gadot may have a nice figure, but her acting is comparable to that of a Ukrainian clothes hanger, Ryan Reynolds' contribution was that he spent the entire movie rambling on and on (to a point when I started secretly hoping that his character would get killed off), and Dwayne Johnson is just The Rock. It was a very long two hours and I'm absolutely certain I won't watch it ever again.

A movie right up my alley. It's a straightforward comedy without any weird twists or nonsensical plots, and yet (or precisely because of that), I was royally entertained. The fact that people have different sexual tastes is hardly surprising. Some I understand and I can relate to them, others not so much, but basically, if both sides consent to it, it’s none of my business what they do. I didn’t think anything would surprise me anymore, but honestly, I have never heard of dacryphilia. Sounds terrifying. I enjoyed the stories of all the couples very much, Steve’s tactics in introducing himself were hilarious, but it was the phone calls that almost had me wet my pants. I was so entertained by this Australian film that I can't go below five stars.

Disney has produced another amazing adventure, and I couldn't keep track of how many different sources the filmmakers drew from (read: stole or ripped off). Those I noticed are The Mummy, Indiana Jones, Tomb Rider (the game), Pirates of the Caribbean, and All the Rivers Run:-) It was all incredibly "original", with an abundance of CGI (in terms of the amount, not quality), and it made the whole thing look like an adventure-fairy tale for the educationally challenged who like the jungle, rivers, boats, submarines, jaguars, musclemen, gays, heroic women, and dumbed-down scripts. I was partly just staring in disbelief, partly bored, and partly comforted by the presence of Emily Blunt. The youngest son of William II? Why? Do the Americans even know who William II was?

An awesome introduction to the legend of Christmas without the distractions of American commercialism. The Finns have gone wild again, and if they'd known Impaled Rectum back in 2010, it's clear who would have made the soundtrack to this joyous Christmas adventure. Finnish filmmaking may not be among the world's most popular, but I like their sense of humor very much, so I really enjoyed this Christmas story featuring the quirky Sami, reindeer, Santa, and elves. I had a great time, and even though Pietari was the main character, my personal favorite was definitely Piiparinen.

Well, this was a highly ambiguous matter. I thought it would be a fairly direct attack on the fortress, regardless of its quality, but it wasn't. I was quite bored for part of the duration, while at other times I was fairly entertained, but I never laughed out loud. Štěpán Kozub was at least a notch above the others with his performance, but I almost passed out when I realized who came in second place. Tomáš Magnusek!!! This amateur and the second-worst Czech director in my personal ranking completely blew me away with his acting. So to sum it up; the movie didn't impress me in any way, but it also didn't offend me, and the duo of Kozub/Magnusek ensured it had a slight above-average quality. I still can't believe it. Tomáš Magnusek!!!

I read the book, it entertained me, and I secretly hoped that when the author himself adapted the book into a screenplay and directed it, it could turn out well. And it did. Patrik Hartl did not disappoint Patrik Hartl and finally created a Czech comedy that I can genuinely enjoy. Without any effort. The cast of the four main roles smelled like perfection, Jana Kolesárová is already forty-five, but her sex appeal clearly doesn't care about that, humor and a subtle kind of sadness were present and active (but it wasn't some superficial Troška-esque nonsense) and I enjoyed it effortlessly. The author of the source material, the screenwriter, and the director managed to agree on the necessary (but unforced) shortening of the original text, and according to me, neither of the Hartls needs to be ashamed of the result. It was great, two hours passed like water, and I could easily endure it for a while longer. I'm glad that it succeeded once again in the domestic environment.

A few essential pieces of information at the beginning. Jiří Mádl sits well with me as a director, but as an actor, I don't particularly like Mádl. I'm not very fond of movies with children (especially with the fresh ones). Despite these considerable objections, the film didn't repel me in any way, although it is true that I didn't end up laughing properly throughout the entire time. It managed to evoke occasional amusement from me, but even so, it worked quite well until it came to the final burst of sudden romance. The conclusion was processed in the style of American romantic comedies, and I really don't like that. Today, I felt quite benevolent and considered giving it three stars, but the ending was enough to lower it to just two pieces.

An absolutely typical (standardized) American romantic movie, where the experienced viewer either suspects or already knows exactly how the whole thing will turn out after a few initial clues. And because the story takes place at Christmas, you won’t be spared the true American family values and great moral lessons. Humor, which would have made the plot more bearable, was almost absent in this case. Plus, I’m not a huge fan of Nina Dobrev. I’m giving this two stars because it’s a Christmas film, where I have to count on such phenomena.

A Christmas romantic comedy from Netflix – after such an introduction, you can't really expect much (at least not in my case). So, I sat back and prepared myself to give another boo! rating. Let me start with the negatives. Netflix was so focused on putting together an all-racial cast that they completely forgot about all the letters in LGBTQIA+. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if that's a negative... The main character's best friend did fill the quota but seemed completely unnecessary. And that's about it. Despite the blatantly multicultural setup, I had a surprisingly good time. I’m really fond of Emma Roberts, unlike her famous aunt, and Kristin Chenoweth puts a smile on my face every time I see her. The comedy clearly won out over the romance (plus it was the kind of humor that I appreciate), and the romance itself wasn't too much of an overkill. Except maybe the ending. To sum it up: It was a silly Christmas movie, but I had fun.