Malarkey

I feel like after the morning shift’s over at the local car factory, the afternoon shift’s coming in and people from the offices also take off, the traffic can sometimes be worse than in Bucharest. And that’s saying something considering Bucharest’s a real piece of work. But to film a documentary about it?

These grandpas may be relatively unknown actors but getting used to their hogwash really took a lot of work, just like the rest of the movie. It doesn’t put you to sleep and you don’t exactly end up thinking it’s been a waste of time, so it’s not bad in that respect. I thought it was okay for an unknown movie.

How on Earth does Benno do it that whenever his old lady sets him up with some charismatic woman, she ends up being mixed up in a murder he’s investigating? No wonder Benno’s single all the time and the only thing he cares about is getting his belly full. In this episode, he’s so rude to his mom that she refuses to cook for him, but then he pays for her at the restaurant, which is probably the first time he’s done anything for her. The episode was pretty standard. This is the first time we’re seeing a killer of lovers, so that’s fun.

How would I review this film? When I decided to watch it, I was quite looking forward to seeing the guys who have decided to go against the regime in Russia. Once I started watching, the beginning more or less caught my attention. However, as the minutes progressed, I realized that the film was quickly ceasing to entertain me. The boys were doing just small things and their whole rebellion consisted of leaving for the countryside and occupying the house of a grandma of one of them and completely destroying it in the process. The film mixes normal scenes with musical ones. It is quite a paradox that in the scenes with music there is quite a lot going on, but on the other hand, it looks like some slapstick comedy from the days of Laurel and Hardy. Towards the ending I was looking forward to finish watching it because the film ended the same way it started. With zero results.

This movie is not a slasher in the traditional word sense. It is a crime story about a gang who decided to rob a bank. In the bank, there was a ghost waiting for them, who began murdering them. I have a feeling that the creators of horror movies are not sure anymore how far they want to go with their ideas…

The original Bad Santa entertained me with its political incorrectness. And I am not sure why, but I quite liked this instalment as well. Although I’ve tried to read different opinions in the reviews on this site to understand why the second instalment fell into such disgrace, I have to admit, I still do not understand why it should be that way. The only argument which seemed relatively justifiable was that the second instalment was far less funny. But I don't fully agree. I’ve laughed quite a bit. Billy Bob Thornton was once again great and the actresses around him were great as well. As a result, I’ve laughed a lot plus there was something to look at. Sure, the film is not for everyone, but that was the same with the first instalment.

At first glance the movie appears to be a pretty uncompromising thriller, but in the end, the whole premise was far more superficial than I originally thought.

If it wasn’t said in advance that this was a western movie, I would have thought that the Dutch director has laid the foundations for this story somewhere under the Alps. The locations truly encourage it. Okay, fine… Let’s consider Brimstone a western movie. A western movie, shot by a Dutch director with the support of various European funds and with American actors, who showed the best they are capable of. For example, Guy Pearce is truly the ultimate bastard in this movie, who makes you think for the first half an hour just so he can make you sick for the rest of the movie. Dakota Fanning shows how incredibly she matured as an actress, because she managed to play a partially silent role absolutely fantastically. Even the atypical narration divided into chapters makes sense, even though it is not completely linear. All of that makes Brimstone a very unique, very uncompromising and rather rough movie that looks like a western, but I would rather compare it to a raw European historical drama with an atypical cast and a touch of American environment.

Right at the beginning there is an action scene which looks like it was cut out from the worst junk novel, written by someone who as soon as he realized what a terrible nonsense he has written, he rather burnt the whole thing just so not a single eye can ever see it again. After this terrible “funny” nonsense, Vin Diesel gets to a place where we meet another bunch of morons, where everyone is as nice as nails in the ass. Then there is a lot of bullshit being said and here and there an action scene that is as dumb as the rest of the scenes. The only plus side of the film is the director and the digital effects, which prevent this film from hitting the rock bottom. I don't know who came up with the idea that the present time is going to be crazy about wacky action movies. But since they do want to shoot them, they could at least try to make the actors not aggravating but entertaining. Unfortunately, Vin Diesel cannot keep the entire movie afloat just by himself.

The film opens up with an unsuccessful suicide of young Vincent. Subsequently, a quite decent comedy begins, which is set on the premise of trying to explain why Vincent wanted to end his life at all. He lives in a family so dysfunctional that everyone who is prone to depression would want to end it. The opinions of each character are so crazy that whether you like it or not you have to stick till the end just so you can find out what other ideas those weirdos can come up with. They make this film tolerable, but still, I cannot rate it more than three stars.