Malarkey

Too western. Don’t read this, if you don’t want to spoil the movie. A film pretending to be a decent drama, but in reality it is so fake it’s not even nice to look at. While in the western world they book a beautiful resort for the last week of their lives with entrance like from the Hobbiton and Eva Green had to sell an apartment to pay for it, in our country and in the east they would just sit on a bench with a view of a valley, which by the way may be even nicer than any scenery in this film… And just wait until their time comes. I just wonder how Alicia Vikander, Eva Green and Charles Dance ended up in this movie. I like them and I would love to see them in better movies.

In the recent years it is fashionable to shoot action or fantasy movies with female leads, so we have a chance to see or discover a whole range of new and beautiful actresses with great skill. In this case Gal Galdot did not disappoint at all. Her beauty is probably visible all the way from the Moon and even Martians would know who to pay attention to on planet Earth, if they decided to conquer it. However, I've had some issues with the screenplay as that is much worse. The Americans appear to think that we Europeans are completely dumb, so they’ve mixed the visualization of the First and Second World War and created something that may be nice to look at, but otherwise it is completely stupid. Luckily, there is Chris Pine alongside Gal Galdot and he was probably even better than her. His role was once again amazing, which I cannot say about the antagonist, portrayed by David Thewlis. His acting was good, but as an enemy he qualifies at a similar level as a nice uncle with moustache and candy. The film radiates personality and also quality, but I think it is still not enough to place DC on the same level with movies like Thor or The Guardians of the Galaxy that brought a new level of quality and fun into movies based on comic books.

Generally, The Tube Tales are pretty crazy. On the other hand, they reflect the time and locations it was shot at and they certainly have their place on the movie scene. For me it was barely average. You can shoot a film in a similar style, for example Trainspotting, but for that you need to be an ace like Danny Boyle. None of the directors here reached his qualities.

Are they fucking kidding me? The Canadians shoot a period war movie about the Ukrainians plus they make it a merry party for the living contemporaries in the style of a brass band’s last concert at a party at the world’s end. Horrible.

I get it, Jennifer Lawrence was meant to play a completely merciless and emotionless murderer. It’s a shame she is like that in most of her movies. Another issue I saw in the fact that it is an espionage thriller, but at the end I was thoroughly confused about what happened. For an espionage thriller there was extremely little suspense and action, so during those two and a half hours I almost wondered whether to cook dinner or start dusting. Luckily it was saved by the great beauty of Jennifer, and her two acting colleagues – Joel Edgerton and Matthias Schoenaerts. I respect them so I finished to movie to the end and I admit that it is at least average.

One of the more serious episodes that unfortunately lacks in quality. Sure, the creators looked for atmosphere in the convent of Saint Erentrude. The whole episode has a spirit of religiousness, which gives it a really distinctive atmosphere. Even the killer is properly deranged, so you would guess this would be one of the properly made crafts, but sadly not. In the end it was rather mediocre.

The only thing worthy of interest in this episode is the fact that constable Pfeiffer appears there for the last time. After filming at the beginning of 2006, he bumped his head against the corner of a table in a restaurant and suffered such injuries that he did not live to see more episodes. Sadly. His role was so fundamental for this crime series that he is going to be missed in the following episodes. Nevertheless, this episode is not a big hit. Sure, Resi doesn’t miss any opportunity to pick on Benno, but the investigation is a bit boring, even though it was supposed to be an Ein erstklassiges Begräbnis – “first rate funeral”.

I would completely disregard the rest of reviews here. It was probably written by a bunch of people who were not in the mood for a comedy at a time when they watched a comedy. The Blockers is awesome. Sure, they are politically incorrect already by its premise. Who of the recently legal aged would want to have parents who spy on them at prom and try to prevent them from having sex? And once they learn about it, what child would still talk to them? Sure, I admit, all of that is messed up…but the rest? It’s just hilarious. And I hope John Cena will land more roles like that. I’ve really seen in him that kind of comedy action hero of the present time that I miss so damn much after Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It’s not as dark as Skyfall. Actually, objectively it is significantly worse than Skyfall. James Bond is like a walking robot in this one. He knocks down everyone who just look at him the wrong way. Nobody can stop him, and I literally mean nobody. Count on it being much worse than usually. Plus there is a huge amount of cool lines. Even though there are no emotions, it shows that kind of harshness possessed by old action heroes in the nineties, which I’ve never seen in any Bond movie with Daniel Craig before. It’s a pity that the title song is so extremely slow that it’s really a pain in the ass. Similarly, the arch enemy Christoph Waltz was not really scary. The only strong positive of this movie is Léa Seydoux, who was a great fit. Maybe because I’ve known her for a while now and she is nice to look at. A little bit different Bond movie, but when it comes to the good old action movies, it fulfilled my long-time desired dream.

It surprised me. I have to admit that right from the beginning. The Dutch have filmed a very decent teen thriller, which is dynamic, fun and suspenseful enough. As other reviewers here have already said, the worst part of it is the character Indra, who always look as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. But she did not ruin the movie as a whole and the ending wrapped it up nicely.