lamps

The story is like a see-saw: uninteresting and even cringe moments are followed by genuinely funny and even touching passages at the end, which I always like to remember. And I remember them even more fondly when they featured the traditionally charismatic Walken or Kate Beckinsale in panties (which is still probably the prettiest imaginable scene in Hollywood history). It's a shame about the uneven first half, which dulls many of the motifs and overwhelms them with unnecessary quick gags, and the stupidly violent happy ending – with this subject and cast, it was meant to be an endlessly clever and inspiring film, not an occasionally funny and tryingly deep fairytale that eventually trips over its own feet. 65%

Fully appreciated after a second viewing (and in the restored version in the cinema). I still feel that I would have to watch it at least twice more to clarify my uncritical enthusiasm and to come up with better superlatives than "Kubrick was just different", but I can say that you probably won't find a more beautifully filmed biography in any film archive. Kubrick not only paints the screen better than Bertolucci, but above all, with a clever helping of amusingly ironic commentary, he narrates with complete mastery, elevating a three-hour personal portrait to the highest cinematic art with every thoughtful cut or musical accompaniment, like a bubble in a spirit level maintaining the demanding rhythm of the narration. While the first two thirds are unmatched for their quicker changes of location and major twists, the final family section is not lacking in stunning formal precision, and its thoughtful denouement surpasses even the similarly paced conclusion of Gone with the Wind. And once again, I have to marvel at how fantastic the film looks and how superbly it orchestrates everything on the mise-en-scène, so that the camera mostly just needs slow zooms or horizontal runs – for example, in the card scene, it's fascinating that only one character ever looks up from the table while the others have their eyes downcast. And the icing on the cake is the excellent performance of Ryan O'Neal. Yeah, Kubrick was just different.

Narratively, it’s awkwardly segmented bollocks where the occasional attempt at a more serious approach and the incompetence of the villains is even more blatant, but it's still impossible to say no to it. Francis Veber, after all, has always been great at delivering gags and entertaining by combining two disparate characters, and in that sense, Shut Up! is his most accomplished work. Reno and Depardieu make such an amazing duo that they could make you laugh with the sound off, and there are perhaps more memorable lines here than in any Zucker brothers' movie. It moves along nicely, we're comfortable with the characters, and when we watch it again, knowing the jokes doesn't stop us from enjoying this non-committal banter between two iconic actors and a famous director in equal measure. And that makes for one hell of a comedy.

In the past, this epic Homeric soap opera was enough to make me ecstatic, but times have changed. Troy looks gorgeous, has sequences that can be replayed to the point of insanity, and an unprecedentedly bloated and luxurious cast (except for Legolas, who’s awful again), but the film overestimates itself. While Petersen has confirmed many times that he’s a very capable director, here he has completely forgotten to provide any cohesive parallel developments that would keep the viewer's attention focused for two and a half hours and build the whole mythical conflict up to a scale of fatality higher than the staid Pearl Harbor-type level. The truly impressive adrenaline-packed sequences are interspersed with dull to uninteresting ones, which establish and develop relationships between characters of no importance to the main plot (and this despite the fact that the characters themselves are great – the narcissistic Pitt is brilliant, the chivalrous Bana is an exemplary good guy, Brian Cox is a sleazy villain, and Sean Bean should have been given his own sequel as the likeable Ulysses –  I'll never forgive Hollywood for that). Taken together, it stands as a beautifully made spectacle for the cinema, but its soul is as empty as the stomachs of Somali children, despite its grandeur. 65%

Capturing in 100 minutes all the different emotional states of two young people is not easy and sometimes it grinds a bit, but that doesn't diminish the greatness of this movie. The pacing is amazing in the first half and we are comfortable with the characters, only to slow down considerably in the second half as the voluminous social and familial ideas weigh on the viewer. And although the second half failed to hold my attention consistently, the resulting feelings are strong and positive enough. In the 1920s, definitely the best motivation for life that Americans could imagine on the movie screen.

A monumental fantasy tale that has it all: thieves, princesses, evil rulers and monsters in the underworld, and strangely enough, it holds together much better than the date of manufacture would make you believe. Fairbanks was not only a great equilibrist but also cool bloke (a kind of Belmondo of the silent era), and Walsh had storytelling running in his veins. If it were half an hour shorter, I'd be jumping in joy, but even so, it's very balanced relaxing entertainment where it's hard to find any downright laughable filmmaking failure.

If there is one single example of a film that is both excellent and thematically important, it is Schindler's List. Where else could you feel the indescribable horror and shame of the human deeds you have just seen, photographed in the most horrifying but at the same time most beautiful black and white composition imaginable? The scene with the little girl in the red coat, walking as a symbol of colourful innocence through pure hell, is probably the most powerful I have ever seen in a film, and it brings tears to my eyes every time; and even if it was the only one in the whole movie, I'd still never get this film out of my head – but it's not, not even close. Masterpiece.

I love it. It has its flaws, and the trio of über-cool vampires have their weaker moments in the middle, but it's impossible not to love this peculiar documentary (sorry, mockumentary). Waititi and Clement took it all the way and serve the viewer with a uniquely funny and detailed cross-section of vampire mythology, in which they manage to present all the otherwise stale motifs about sleeping in coffins or burning in the sunlight in an original and effective way, so that the story doesn't just run on quick gags – each supporting character has an important role to play in terms of revealing the whole well thought-out fictional world or the adaptation of the vampires to modern times. The whole thing would certainly work best as a multi-part sitcom, and I’m giving it 5* mainly due to my innate sympathy for Waititi's sense of humour, but it's still great fun and, from a certain point of view, a fountain of wisdom – the housemates' problems around washing and cleaning up reflect quite faithfully the cohabitation of university students in a shared flat. I could tell a story or two myself.

There’s no doubt this is a beautiful story that can make you fly, but perhaps (though the comparison is very exaggerated) compared to the similarly will-inducing Shawshank, it gets old fast and the initial enthusiasm wears thin. I still enjoy watching it more than most American comedies of the last few years, but I'd look elsewhere for undying cult-status.

I am only rating how much fun I had, and I’m not gonna lie, I laughed a lot. The unbridled 80s feeling full of nudity, faux gore and intrusive disco songs is present to an extent that even Pamela Anderson's chest doesn't have, and when the toxic mop-wielding superhero finally enters the stage (after a very harrowing first quarter of an hour) (Marvel really slept hard here), a very entertaining rush begins. It is, of course, stupid in every sense, the actors are terrible and the logic is absent, but at the same time it is endearingly over the top and at times dangerously funny and self-parodic. If you're a fan of these unserious corners of cinema, I'm sure you've always dreamed of seeing a monster made of garbage frolicking with his sexy girlfriend at sunset – here you’ll get that with interest.